a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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