What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

who is gay wit mon james cornish

Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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