Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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outside your comfort zone

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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