Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops