question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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Why did Larry drop his suitcase? Because he had no arms. A) Knock knock, B) Who's there? A) Not Larry

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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