roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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An anti-joke

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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69

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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