A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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Men's rights

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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