did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

Hello penis

Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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