What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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What is life? Paul.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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The american education system.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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