Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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