Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops