A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Men's rights

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops