What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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