how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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What's big and purple? Barney

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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