What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

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Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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What's 9+10? 19

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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