knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

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Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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