- Anti Joke

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

%3c%2fa%3e%3c%2fh3%3e alert("The Game."); %3cScR%69pt%2ffoo%3eev%61l%28%27ale%27+%27ert%28%29%27%29;

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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