If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

I am quite mature.

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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