Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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