Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Click here to end the world.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Poker face

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You sick fiend

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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