Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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What's one plus one? two.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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