You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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sfdg

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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