Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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Tilt your screen back .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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