A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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