Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

your skull would make a nice pen holder

How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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