What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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PICKLES

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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The Blonde walked into a wall.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops