A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

So a bar walks into a man...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

good looking women

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops