How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What comes after 69? 70

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops