"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops