Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...