steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...