why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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