A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops