I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Pull my finger ouch..

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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