What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

thumb_up thumb_down +2

DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops