Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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