A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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