What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

How do you make a snake blink? You can't

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

whats funny about about adailia rose?nothing shes just fucked up in every way shape and form. but 100% defenatly stick my cock in her shitter

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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