what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why Did the throw up He was sick

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops