What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9. I'm just counting

Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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