Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than the holocaust? Jewish people!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops