Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops