How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

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Take wrong turns

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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