Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops