Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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whats worse that being raped by a giant squirrel? being raped by two giant squirrels.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops