how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A young baby died.

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alert("Hello");

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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