A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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h

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An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Barack Obama.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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