A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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Why? Why not?

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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