Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

In soviet Russia...things are different

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...