What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops